


Letters to Oliver

by softball45



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M, jbuffyangel contest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2015-01-07
Packaged: 2018-03-06 14:23:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3137594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softball45/pseuds/softball45
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone says their final goodbye to Oliver.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letters to Oliver

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Jen's (jbuffyangel) contest of Letters to Oliver. The goal was to make you guys cry as much as possible. I hope I succeeded. Let me know what you think!

Diggle placed the final clump of dirt on top of Oliver’s grave.  The group remained silent, each person with tears streaming down their face.  “We should all say something, a final goodbye.” Digg managed to choke out.

 

Felicity, Diggle, and Roy were all gathered for yet another funeral, burying an empty coffin.  Twice this year they lost someone they loved.

 

No one spoke; they all were blankly staring at his head stone.  Oliver’s epitaph read _a_ _hero to this city_. It was per Felicity’s demand that those were the only words he was remembered by and no one argued.

 

After a moment of silence Roy spoke up, “I don’t know what to say, Oliver.  I’ve lost people before but losing you was the worst.  You were the first person who believed in me.”  Felicity closed her eyes not wanting to see Roy say his final goodbye. “You showed me that I had a purpose in this world; I have a reason to live because of you.  Before I started working with the Arrow I was just some kid on the street getting who was constantly getting beaten up. You helped me be more than just some punk kid.”  A small whimper escaped Felicity’s mouth causing more tears to stream down.

 

“I can’t imagine a world where you’re not beside me fighting and I don’t want to put on that hood to protect this city without you. But, just like how you wore the hood to honor everyone you lost, so will I.”  Once again there was silence.

 

Felicity tried to concentrate on her breathing, focusing on the sound of her heartbeat rather than the empty sound of the graveyard.

 

“I guess I’ll go.  When I first met you I thought you were another rich kid trying to make my life worse.  But you did the exact opposite.  You were the brother I had lost.” Digg tried to choke back tears but they kept streaming down his face. “We all work in silence trying not to dwell on the fact our leader is gone.  We were a well-oiled fighting machine and now, now we don’t know how to continue without you.”

 

“Oliver, you were terrorized by the fear of what might happen if you let yourself be Oliver Queen and the Arrow, you were so convinced you couldn’t have both lives, but you’re wrong.  You were always both personas.  I’ve been with you since the beginning and I know you better than anyone.  You’re the Arrow because of Oliver Queen and you’re Oliver Queen because of the Arrow. Both lives have made you who you are today.  Oliver Queen wouldn’t have climbed a mountain to fight Ra’s al Ghul to the death, but the Arrow would.  The Arrow wouldn’t have sacrificed himself because his family was in danger, but Oliver Queen would.”

 

“You were the best man I have ever known; you’re my brother and now that you’re gone it’s just like losing Andy all over again. I know in war you lose brothers; you watch the light go out of their eyes forever.  I’ve seen people die in my arms before but somehow your death hurts ten times more.  You were more than a friend and more than a brother.  You were a hero, not just to the city but also to me. You will always be a hero.”

 

“Our fight doesn’t end with your death; our fight is only beginning.”  Felicity finally opened her eyes knowing she was the only one left.”

 

In a ragged voice she spoke, “You did it. You saved the city. That’s all you’ve ever wanted to do. I wish you didn’t. I wish you were still by my side. I’m being selfish and you could never do that, but you were the most important person in my life. And now, you’re gone.”

 

“The moment when you said goodbye has been endlessly replaying in my head.  I can still feel your lips pressed against my forehead, you’re final words echoing in my ears. I can still feel my body pressed against yours, not wanting to part.  After everything we’ve been through I can’t help but wondering why. Why did you say those things, why did you leave, why did I let you, but most of all I wonder why I didn’t say it back?  I love you and I watched you leave; I let you go without a word.  I will always regret letting you go without saying anything.” Roy rested his hand gently on her back. It felt as if his hand there was the only thing holding her together.

 

“But, I will never regret loving you. What if we were just two passing body’s that met for a second and then parted forever?  Maybe we were never meant to be. 

If that’s true I don’t regret the time we spent together because those two years were the best of my life and I don’t know how I’m going to be able to get out of bed knowing I will never see you again.”

 

With a deep breath Felicity tried to continue, “I still think that when I walk down the stairs to the foundry I’ll see you and Digg sparring.  Every time I enter my office I still think I’m going to see you at the desk smiling back at me. But I won’t see you; I will never see you smiling again.”

 

“Every time I think of you, which is all the time, I fall apart.  I forget who I am because I don’t know how to be me without you.  I break down in tears when everyone is off on a mission because I’m alone with only your abandoned suit staring back at me.  Everywhere I go there are constant reminders of you. I want to let go and I want to forget but I can’t, I never will.”  As soon as she was done speaking, Felicity buried her head in Roy’s shoulder.

 

The group left without a word; no one looking back at the grave of another fallen friend. 


End file.
